Self-Indulgent Ramblings Post 9 From Outer Space

Because it garnered so much interest the first eight times, here's another set of self-indulgent ramblings of anything that comes to my mind. So with apologies to Ed Wood and Larry King, here's some more self-indulgent ramblings:

If I don't have a new post in months, is my blog really that "self-indulgent?"

After watching Danger 5 on Netflix, I wish I had some of whatever the writers of this show were smoking.

Seriously, that was some f-ed up shit.

I don't know why, since my book is full of f-bombs, but I still feel weird using the f-word in my blog.

My favorite name ever for a baseball player: Doug Fister.

Yes, I am immature.

My unabashed, no holds barred review of The Avengers: Age of Ultron: Just basically more of the same, but that's not a bad thing.

Ever since watching Kingsmen: The Secret Service, whenever I hear the song, "Freebird," I want to pummel everyone around me for the next ten minutes.

How many more new Marvel superhero movies and television shows before they finally get to Namor the Submariner?

Daredevil on Netflix is pretty great, though. Especially the Kingpin, who always sounds angrily constipated to me.

This deflated football scandal doesn't seem to want to go away.

Nope, no more new jokes about "deflated balls." I think they have been all used up.

Kind of like my balls. There, had to squeeze in one more.

Like I said in my last post, I really don't mind that my cover of I Am Annoyed is featured in Kindle Cover Disasters, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it's weird to have my book lumped with other titles like Senior Sex Parties 3 and Pounded In the Butt By My Own Butt.

To be fair, Pounded In the Butt By My Own Butt could be the funniest title ever.

I have no idea how that would work, though. And I really don't wish to find out.

And on that note, I must depart, thanks for reading. I'll be back again some time in the future.

Self-Indulgent Ramblings Part VII: Aaron Schultz and the Snarky Hallows Part II (Which Really Makes This Part VIII)

Because it has been such great fun the first seven times, here's some more self-indulgent ramblings on anything that comes to my mind. So, with apologies to Harry Potter (the movie versions) and Larry King, here's some more self-indulgent ramblings:

I've recently discovered the El Rey network (check your local listings). A weekly Lucha wrestling show and tons of classic martial arts movies? I may never leave my house.

Is there such a thing as watching too much football? I don't think I've hit that point yet.

That said, if they start playing the Summer's Eve Douche Bowl, that might be pushing it.

Well, I might have had correctly predicted this season's Super Bowl winner (to see the prediction I made last September, check out Self-Indulgent Ramblings Part VI), except for the ten or so things that went wrong.

Yeah, I'm still bitter about it.

I'm not mature enough to not snicker when sports commentators continue to talk about "deflated balls."

I think out of all the shows that ended last year that I watched regularly, I might miss The Newsroom the most.

Unfortunately, because of my cynicism, I don't believe any of the characters in The Newsroom would really exist in our world.

So, how soon before they remake The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit? I'll say within five years.

After watching Into the Woods, I'd like to spend one day just breaking out into song at random moments.

Or maybe I'll just spend a few days running around frantically in the woods.

Of course, that would probably the final straw that ends up putting me into the nearest mental institution.

Since HBO brought back The Comeback after nine years, how about bringing back Carnivale and Deadwood?

I know I mentioned that in the last ramblings, (which was Part VII Part I), but until they bring these shows back (highly unlikely), I will continue to bitch about it.

I'm even more confused about time travel after watching the trailer for the next Terminator movie.

One thing I've learned in the last year: If you're going to write a satire about a dictator, make him a fictional one.

I think it would have been hilarious if they ended The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I in mid sentence.

It would be kind of like if they

TO BE CONTINUED

Self-Indulgent Ramblings Mania V: The Megablogger Explodes!!!

Hello. Because the first four times had such a great response, it's time for more ramblings on whatever pops in my head. So with apologies to the WWE and Larry King, here are some more self-indulgent ramblings:

Lebron James going back to Cleveland is the greatest heel-to-face turn ever.

Yes, even better than Stone Cold Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XIII.

I'm probably spending too much time with my Talking Tom cat on my tablet.

If you guessed that I get a kick out of having him say dirty and perverted words, you know me well.

Spoiler alert for the Amazing Spider Man 2: (Actually, everyone should have already seen it by now, but I was busy, okay?) I can't believe blank blank dies at the end! Well, blank blank also died in the comic book, so I shouldn't have been so surprised.

C'mon, Packers! Retire Favre's jersey already!

As a self published author, I'm definitely on Amazon's side in the Amazon/Hachette dispute.

On a somewhat related note, I don't know him personally, but J. A. Konrath seems like a cool guy to have a beer with.

Especially if he's buying.

Latest creepy commercial: Those weird Direct TV ones with the puppets. Who are these supposed to appeal to?

Obviously, someone with a weird puppet fetish.

Which definitely isn't me.

My unabashed, no holds barred review of Transformers 4: The metal-on-metal violence is high in this one.

Community is coming back! Hooray!

So, what the f is a Yahoo Screen?

The body count is getting pretty high in the last season of True Blood. At this rate, all that will be left at the end will be a set of fangs.

To be perfectly honest, although I was rooting for the United States, I still have trouble getting into soccer.

I have no idea what it's supposed to be used for, but I'm glad I've never taken Risperdal.

So, if everyone is already trapped Under the Dome, where are all these new characters coming from?

And that's all I have for now. See you next time.

Self-Indulgent Ramblings Episode III: Revenge of the Snark

Yep, because the first two times were so popular, it's time once again for some more self-indulgent ramblings about anything that comes to my mind. So with apologies to George Lucas and Larry King, here I go:

Spoiler alert for the upcoming Star Wars movies: All the original characters are very old.

I wonder if the actor who plays Hodor on Game of Thrones ever forgets his lines.

On a completely unrelated note, for some reason, my new favorite color is purple.

I vow never to use the phrase "conscious uncoupling," not even for a joke.

My unabashed, no holds barred review of The Raid 2: It has the most acts of gratuitous violence I have ever seen in a movie. In other words, it was F-ING AWESOME!

I haven't seen it yet, but I hope in Oculus, Karen Gillan mistakenly screws an apple into a light socket.

I can't wait for Tyler Perry's autobiographical film, "Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry."

I sure hope that Stephen Colbert curtails all his partisan politics when he starts hosting The Late Show on CBS.

Do I even have to mention that I'm not serious about that?

I have way more trouble trying to cut an ice cream cake than a supposedly educated person should.

With the recent success of all those religious films, I hope James Cameron makes a three hour long 3D movie, with a budget over three hundred million dollars, about Jonah, and Peter Jackson makes ten epic four hour long films about Methuselah.

Those ten Methuselah films will only cover his first hundred years.

C'mon NBC, just renew Community already! So close to #sixseasonsandamovie.

And, if possible, a full season, not just thirteen episodes, would be nice. #justaskingnicely

I'm not on twitter, but doing these hashtags is addicting. #Ilikehashtags #hashtag #morehashtags  #quititalready #jokeisgettingold #wasn'tallthatfunnyinthefirstplace

Although I've probably seen every episode at least ten times, and I have all the DVDs, I'm still looking forward to The Simpsons on FXX.

I'm not going to attempt the marathon, though. Even I don't have that much time on my hands.

With the basketball and hockey playoffs going on, and the new season of baseball in full swing, this time of year is always great to be a sports fan.

With that being said, I'm already ready for football to start.

Spoiler free summary of the last few episodes of Agents of Shield: I can't believe blank blank blanked Shield! I did not see that coming! I wonder, what will blank blank do about it?

Latest thing to creep me out: those new Old Spice commercials.

It looks like I was number 51 again in the 50 Most Beautiful People list.

I'm definitely sure that I'm the first person to ever make that joke.

Yes, yes, I'm not serious about that, either.

Am I indicating what I think about the general public's IQ when I always have to say when I'm being sarcastic?

With that admission, I better go before I get myself into even more trouble. So, once again, thanks for reading, see you next time!