Hey! My Book is on Sale!!!

Since self-indulgent is in the title of this blog, I have to mention that my book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World, is on sale for only 99 cents on the Amazon Kindle from now until the end of Sunday, May 4th. If you enjoy reading this blog, you should love the book, especially since I swear a lot more in it. You can always click on the book's image on the right side of my blog to get to the Amazon store, but you can also click on this link to get you there:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZO198C

Thanks for your time.

Self-Indulgent Ramblings Episode III: Revenge of the Snark

Yep, because the first two times were so popular, it's time once again for some more self-indulgent ramblings about anything that comes to my mind. So with apologies to George Lucas and Larry King, here I go:

Spoiler alert for the upcoming Star Wars movies: All the original characters are very old.

I wonder if the actor who plays Hodor on Game of Thrones ever forgets his lines.

On a completely unrelated note, for some reason, my new favorite color is purple.

I vow never to use the phrase "conscious uncoupling," not even for a joke.

My unabashed, no holds barred review of The Raid 2: It has the most acts of gratuitous violence I have ever seen in a movie. In other words, it was F-ING AWESOME!

I haven't seen it yet, but I hope in Oculus, Karen Gillan mistakenly screws an apple into a light socket.

I can't wait for Tyler Perry's autobiographical film, "Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry."

I sure hope that Stephen Colbert curtails all his partisan politics when he starts hosting The Late Show on CBS.

Do I even have to mention that I'm not serious about that?

I have way more trouble trying to cut an ice cream cake than a supposedly educated person should.

With the recent success of all those religious films, I hope James Cameron makes a three hour long 3D movie, with a budget over three hundred million dollars, about Jonah, and Peter Jackson makes ten epic four hour long films about Methuselah.

Those ten Methuselah films will only cover his first hundred years.

C'mon NBC, just renew Community already! So close to #sixseasonsandamovie.

And, if possible, a full season, not just thirteen episodes, would be nice. #justaskingnicely

I'm not on twitter, but doing these hashtags is addicting. #Ilikehashtags #hashtag #morehashtags  #quititalready #jokeisgettingold #wasn'tallthatfunnyinthefirstplace

Although I've probably seen every episode at least ten times, and I have all the DVDs, I'm still looking forward to The Simpsons on FXX.

I'm not going to attempt the marathon, though. Even I don't have that much time on my hands.

With the basketball and hockey playoffs going on, and the new season of baseball in full swing, this time of year is always great to be a sports fan.

With that being said, I'm already ready for football to start.

Spoiler free summary of the last few episodes of Agents of Shield: I can't believe blank blank blanked Shield! I did not see that coming! I wonder, what will blank blank do about it?

Latest thing to creep me out: those new Old Spice commercials.

It looks like I was number 51 again in the 50 Most Beautiful People list.

I'm definitely sure that I'm the first person to ever make that joke.

Yes, yes, I'm not serious about that, either.

Am I indicating what I think about the general public's IQ when I always have to say when I'm being sarcastic?

With that admission, I better go before I get myself into even more trouble. So, once again, thanks for reading, see you next time!

Seeing Myself as a "Brand"

Here's a weird thing that I've found out since becoming a published author. While researching on how to market my book, I found that many authors refer to themselves as a "brand." They're always talking about "promoting their brand" or proclaiming, "My books are my brand." Being just a simple, humble person, I never thought of myself that way. But I guess I am.

So, being curious of what kind of "brand awareness" that I have, I did what any self respecting person should do: I googled my name. Unfortunately, I didn't show up until the third page. However, there is an Aaron Schultz who is an accomplished bodybuilder (and our physiques are remarkably similar), an Aaron Schultz who has a PhD, and a few other writers named Aaron Schultz. It is nice to know that there are many people named Aaron Schultz who have made something of their life. Though, I guess if there was less of them, I would be on top of the damn search page.

So the big question is: what is my brand? Hmm, offbeat writings delivered in a sardonic tone? Twisted thoughts from a depraved individual? Wholesome good fun wrapped up in a package of fifthly language and lewd, risqué topics? A writer so unique that he can't be pigeonholed by a few adjectives and descriptive phrases? This is tougher than I thought. I guess what I put under the title of my blog says it all: "Aaron Schultz writes about what he wants, whenever he wants, in a super entertaining way." And that's my brand.