Yep, My Book is On Sale Again

My delightful book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World, is once again on sale on the Kindle for only 99 cents from now until the end of Saturday, Nov. 22! So, if you've been entertained by this blog, you'll probably love this book. Here's the link to the book for your convenience:

www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZO198C

Thanks for your time.

Self-Indulgent Ramblings Year VII: Aaron Schultz and the Snarky Hallows

Because it's been such a popular part of my blog, it's time once again for some ramblings on anything that crosses my mind. So, with apologies to Harry Potter and Larry King, here's some more self-indulgent ramblings:

Although Matt Smith is one of my favorite Doctors, I have to say that Peter Capaldi is doing a great job on Dr. Who.

Spoilers alerts on The Walking Dead and Sons of Anarchy: the body counts are getting very, very high.

And on these shows, that's saying something.

Speaking of Sons of Anarchy, I've just found out after watching it for years that the guy that plays Otto is actually the creator of the show.

You know, if I created a show and decided to play one of the characters, I wouldn't choose the one who constantly gets beaten, tortured, and occasionally anal raped.

My unabashed, no holds barred review of A Walk Among the Tombstones: It was decent, but WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO CHANGE SO MUCH STUFF FROM THE BOOK? WHY CAN'T THEY KEEP THINGS ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME?

Okay, sorry, I'll calm down a little.

If they ever made a movie version of my book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World, (unlikely, I know), the character based on me would be younger, better looking, have more hair, probably shorter, and would be just slightly irritated instead of annoyed.

So, I thought the series finale of Boardwalk Empire was pretty satisfying, but...
WHY DID HBO CANCEL DEADWOOD AND CARNIVALE BEFORE THEY HAD THE CHANCE TO WRAP THINGS UP???? I KNOW THIS IS YEARS AFTER THE FACT, BUT IT STILL BOTHERS ME!!!

Oh yeah, I was supposed to calm myself down. Sorry.

After you watch Dracula Untold, from then on should you call it Dracula Told?

Speaking of which, here's my unabashed, no holds barred review of Dracula Untold!: Actually, this review will stay untold.

I wouldn't condone it (repeating for emphasis so I don't get into trouble, I wouldn't condone it), but people lurking around in public places dressed as creepy clowns are just asking to be assaulted.

Hell, just seeing anyone walking around dressed as a "normal" clown would freak me out.

If my life depended on the outcome of a baseball game, Madison Bumgarner would be my pitcher.

Why my life would ever depend on a baseball game, I have no idea, and why Madison Bumgarner would decide to be my pitcher, I don't know.

I enjoy watching Gold Rush even though I would never trust myself to operate any of the machinery they use on the show. #Mechanically Inept

I'm pretty sure if I worked for Tony Beets, he would have me crying within ten seconds.

Adam Copeland, WWE Superstar Edge (greatest billing ever) on Haven is giving one of the best acting performances ever by a pro wrestler.

Still the greatest of all time, though, Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.

Baseball season is over, hockey and basketball seasons have already started, and we're already at the halfway point of football season. I think a sign of getting old is how quick the time seems to fly for me on these sports seasons .

However, no matter how old I get, the political campaign season always seems to drag on and on.

There are elections Tuesday, though, and I'd tell everyone to go out and vote, but, really, if you need me to tell you that, there probably is no hope for you.

Daylight savings time is the stupidest idea ever in the Spring, but it's great in the Fall.

And with that, it's time for me to go, thank you for reading.

Things That Annoy Me: Parents Who Call "Timeout"

Hello, it's time once again to mention something else that annoys me that is featured in my book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World. Today, let's talk about parenting. Since I have no children of my own (that I know of), I figure I am the best person to talk about this subject. I have to confess, I am usually very annoyed by children. And nothing annoys me more than a loud, whiny, obnoxious kid causing a scene in public. But what's even worse than that is when a hapless parent is trying very unsuccessfully to get the child to stop by pleading with it (I was debating whether to use him or her, "it" seemed to be the most appropriate), to take a "timeout." Timeouts should only be allowed in sports, never in child raising. Any time I see a parent attempt to use this wimpy method of parenting, it always fails. To read more about this subject, including what evil thought creeps into my head when I, unfortunately, have to witness this annoyance in public, you can purchase my fine book by clicking on this link:

www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZO198C

I should add to anyone with good taste who does click on the link, buys my book, and reads what I wrote about this subject, that this book is obviously satire, and even if this evil thought does creep into my head, I would never act on it. Seriously, I would never. Honestly, really, I wouldn't.

Things That Annoy Me: Overly Cheerful People

It's time once again to highlight yet another thing that annoys me which is also featured in my book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World. This may be sad for me to admit, but I am usually not a cheerful person. I guess it is tough to be cheerful when you're being annoyed most of the time. Despite this, I try not to be annoyed by cheerful people. However, there are people that are so damn cheerful that they become annoying very quickly. It seems to me that they appear almost psychotic in their cheerfulness. It's a very thin line between being overly cheerful and being a total psychopath, in my humble opinion. No one can be that happy without something being wrong with them. So, to read more about these annoyingly cheerful people and other things that annoy me, please check out my book at this link:

www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZO198C

Thanks for your time, and try to be happy. But not too happy, if you get my meaning.

Things That Annoy Me: Prices That End in $.99

Hello, it's time once again to highlight something that annoys me. For shameless self promotional purposes, I must mention that I wrote about this same subject in greater detail in my book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World, which is available on Amazon. Today, I want to talk about how almost everything we buy is priced to end in $.99. The reason for this, of course, is that studies show that psychologically, people are more apt to buy something priced this way. It is weird for me to believe that lowering a price by one cent affects people that much. Really, is everyone that feeble minded? For example, if something is priced $9.99, it is basically ten freaking dollars. In fact, it's even more when you add sales tax. It's just sad and annoying to me that people are such dullards that this actually works. Anyway, to read more on this subject, here's the link to my book on Amazon, which you can purchase for the low price of $2.99:

www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZO198C
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Thanks for your time, and I hope you got the joke.

Self-Indulgent Ramblings VI: The Undiscovered Blogger

Because it was so popular the first five times, it's time once again for some ramblings about anything that comes to my mind. So with apologies to Star Trek and Larry King, here are some more self-indulgent ramblings:

If the studies that say having pessimistic thoughts is actually healthy for you is true, I might live to be 120.

Eva Green is great in every role she's in.

The fact that she's naked in practically every role she's in has no bearing on my opinion.

Honestly.

Seriously, though, she's a great actress.

She does look great nude, though. #Making compliments pervy

My unabashed, no holds barred review of Guardians of the Galaxy: I AM GROOT!!!

That means I really liked it.

Why did The November Man open in August?

So I figured out why new characters keep on popping up on Under the Dome is because the events on the show have only taken place through the course of a few weeks even though the show itself premiered last year.

Okay, I didn't really figure that out. I just finally paid attention to the narration at the beginning of every show.

I'm glad I could clear that up. As far as explaining what else is happening on this show, I can't help you.

The ALS ice bucket challenge is for a good cause and all, but don't you suspect a lot of people are not actually dumping themselves with ice water?

Spoiler Alert! Here's some comments on the series finale of True Blood, don't read the next paragraph if you don't want to know:

Was I the only one who thought Bill was going to somehow turn human and he and Sookie were going to have their happy ever after life with kids and stuff? And instead of Sookie ending up with some random guy whose face we never really get to see, couldn't they have just kept Alcide alive?

So I'm finally catching up on the last season of Sons of Anarchy (thank you FX for the early Thursday morning replays for those of us too cheap to buy episodes on Amazon) but it's weird to watch it since the major events that happened were already spoiled for me (that's what I get for still reading newspapers).

Speaking of Sons of Anarchy, would I'd be a poseur if I wore a Sons of Anarchy t-shirt even though I've never rode a motorcycle in my life?

I guess, by that way of thinking, I shouldn't wear a Breaking Bad shirt either.

I'm really looking forward to the movie adaption of A Walk Among the Tombstones, featuring one of my favorite characters ever, Matt Scudder, from the brilliant mind of Lawrence Block. Now, how about a movie about John Keller?

If you're going to bring back The Tick, bring back the cartoon version!

Speaking of comebacks, it's great that Faith No More is reuniting. In fact, I would say it's "Epic."

I'm allowed one bad pun per post.

Am I becoming a bit of a girlie man if I really like the new Breyers Creamsicle ice cream?

Maybe I am just comfortable enough with my manhood in admitting that I like orange sherbet.

Damn, it's great that football season is starting up again.

My completely biased opinion is another championship for Titletown.

If you don't know where Titletown is, I have nothing more to say to you.

I hate to get all moral on everyone, but I will not look up pictures of naked celebrities if the pictures were released without their consent.

If, however, in the course of browsing the internet, I happen to stumble upon a picture of a naked celebrity, well, I'll look and feel bad about it afterwards.

Okay, that's all I have for now. Thanks for reading!

Things That Annoy Me: The "I Think I'm a Stand-Up Comic" Guy

So, although the primary reason for this blog is to entertain anyone who happens to read it, I have to admit that I also am trying to use it to help promote my books. The theory being that if you are entertained by this blog, maybe you will buy my book. So I figure I should spotlight parts of my first book, I Am Annoyed: One Man's Rants Against This Annoying World. Not only will this add some more new content in my blog (I have to admit I've been slacking off a bit in adding new posts), plus, maybe it'll have the awesome effect of getting more sales for my book. I am periodically going to mention one thing that annoys me that I elaborate on in more colorful detail in my book. Hopefully, this will still be entertaining if read by itself, and it should be a good tease to all the fun everyone can have if they read my book.

So, for my first annoyance, I thought I would spotlight perhaps the most annoying person ever, the "I think I'm a stand-up comic" guy. This is a guy who cracks jokes constantly. The problem is, all his jokes are so lame that even the most hackneyed comics don't use them. What really makes the guy annoying is that he laughs at his own jokes in that "yuk, yuk" kind of way, and he calls you out when you don't laugh at his awful material. To read more about this annoying guy, here's the link to my book:

www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZO198C

Thanks for your time.