Nobody Knows That I'm Doing This

Well, that's not totally true, if you're reading this, you know there is some dude named Aaron Schultz out there in this world who writes a blog, and wrote a book about everything that annoys him. And everyone who has found my book, and seen my book listings and forum posts, know that I'm a writer as well. But what I'm talking about is that anyone who knows me personally has no clue that I'm doing this. You would think that I would be proud that I wrote a book and started blogging, and would wish to share my accomplishments with everyone I know. Which I normally would, but what if my book is so foul mouthed and raunchy that I'm not sure how everyone would take it?

Let me first say that I'm extremely proud of my book. With not going overboard with self-praise, I do think I wrote a very funny book. Yet, some of the subject matter is a bit risqué. It's one thing if I'm just some faceless guy to someone reading my filth, it's another thing if it's someone I know, who can look at me face-to-face and say, "I can't believe you wrote that crap, I never knew you were such a sick, disgusting person!" I don't mind offending all the strangers out there in Bookland and Blogworld, but I do try to avoid offending people in my immediate vicinity.

Worst yet, is that I wrote a book on everything that annoys me. Now, I did write the book for comedic purposes, so everything is exaggerated and over-the-top, and I did make sure all the annoyances I put in there were general and not specific. Still, I don't doubt that some people I know will think some of the annoyances I wrote about are pertaining to them, and they'll be plenty pissed that I put them in my book. The book is a composite about everything that annoys me everywhere, so I'm sure some of my annoyances are derived from people I know personally, but I can honestly say that I never singled out a person I know on purpose. This book wasn't meant for me to settle any grudges, just for me to write something entertaining that other people might enjoy. So if you happen to know me personally, found out that I wrote a book, went and bought said book, read something in that book that you think I wrote about you, became very pissed at what you thought I wrote about you, please don't find me and beat me up.

So, will I ever tell anyone I know that I'm a writer? Probably only if I become a huge success. That would be a great surprise if one day I could go to my family and say, "Hey, guess what, I'm an insanely popular, rich, and best selling author! And no, you can't have any of my money." I guess one day I could get "outed" by someone I know stumbling upon my book or blog on the web, but I don't think anyone I know spends time Googling my name. And it occurs to me that some of you might be asking yourselves while reading this: "Well, you dolt, why didn't you just use a pseudonym?" The thought did cross my mind, but I have to admit, there is a great thrill seeing my real name on the virtual bookshelf. I don't think seeing "I Am Annoyed" written by "Sterling Mangold" or "Hunk Billingsbee" would have had the same impact for me. And yes, those were the two names I considered for my pseudonym. Hmm, maybe I'll use one of those names for my next book.